I think I once wrote about my own drunk toddler experience on locals for a writing competition. Not sure if you remember. Fortunately, I didn’t get alcohol poisoning just bad diarrhea for a couple of days. 6 months later when I was 3 my father got behind the wheel in one of those drunken stuper states you speak of and drove into a wall. He too couldn't stop drinking when he started. I grew up believing he chose drink over me. I was very angry at my father for dying and blamed him for the hurt I went through as a teenager. If he hadn't die it wouldn't have happened. He would have been there to protect me. I would cry myself to sleep asking the darkness, "Daddy why didn't you take me with you? Why did you leave me behind?"
Only once I had my own child I forgave my father and began to understand what he went through. I am facing similar problems in my marriage that my father had to face. I vow to be stronger. Alcohol can be a crutch for me but it hasn't become an addiction. I can stop. My weakness is my depression. It is a black hole,once I fall down it, it is almost impossible to get back out. I self-destruct. Destroying what is most dear to me because I believe I don't deserve it, no alcohol needed.
My heartbreaks for Liam's 7y/o boy. I still cry for my dad even now at age 43. The feeling of lose and the absence of my father never goes away. It is a weight you learn to carry with throughout life.
Francis you say Liam had places to hide that you didn't and that is what saved your life. However, you should give yourself more credit than that; forevyou saved yourself. You have a unique strength and resilience that I have seldom seem in others. The awkard man you were running from when holding a beer in your hand is the same strong man that saved you. You should love and appreciate that man, just like I have learnt to love and appreciate that , awkwardly crazy and ugly Claudia. She saved me 🤗
Have you ever thought of doing any public speaking in schools? I heard that you were a teacher and thought those might be good venues to share your life experiences, as well as the lessons you learned along the way. Hard work, self-reflection and the ability to take accountability for your actions in order to better yourself, are all keys to finding fulfilment.
I agree 💯! I find young adults are very indecisive and unsure of their lives. They are terrified to make choices because of the fear of making the wrong choice and having to live with the consequences, like marriage for instance. Fear of disappointment holds a lot of kids back and encourages them to stay in a "participation" trophy environment. It is also why I believe the younger gens are gravitating towards authoritarianism. They are looking for a certainty. "This is this and that is that and do not think or choose otherwise. We need to show children, yes making wrong choices will have consequences but that is the only way to make success happen in life. Take risks and endure it. When it goes wrong, pick yourself up and carry on. It is what makes you strong. "Strength is the sum of all that has been endured." Life is not perfect and no one is going to run around you to make life your perfect. Happiness is not what you get, it is appreciating what you got.
Great idea. Francis is very relatable (for an adult😂) and down to earth. His humor keeps him from being pedantic. It helps for kids to hear someone who can understand and verbalize how huge and terrifying everything seems in adolescence.
First and great hermano... I wanted to make a joke of "you're good at this, you should wrote a book"
But you know you are, and you are.
Rollercoaster of an article, this is what I've always told you have in yourself - that dark part and yet have a sense of humour about it...
I still want to get you drunk in a padded cell or in a forest around a fire... But I know that call, and know it well, my hands won't be the ones pushing you, but I'll pick you up if I can.
Wow, Carajito! Very raw piece, but thanks for sharing this with so many who have struggled one way or another with the many types of addictions and road blocks live has thrown at us!
We didn't have drink or drugs in my family but we had cutting. Whether you call it an addiction or not I completely agree they are coping mechanisms, a way to still that roaring voice in your head. Stay strong out their people, it's always better to win that fight than to lose it.
It is all to easy to see the wealth, good looks and fame that this young man had and see it as him being hugely fortunate but, as you rightly point out, such things can in reality be a curse. There are many examples of famous artists over many decades (I'm 72) who I've seen be similarly afflicted.
I had a couple dozen hits of LSD in me before I was fourteen and had a DUI at fifteen, before I was licensed to drive .16 BAC. Beat that. Like Bill Maher says, you don’t need drugs and alcohol to have fun, but why take the chance. I believe more in Mr. Natural “straight street that great street. Research ketogenic diet for food and alcohol addiction. Sex addiction? Maybe seventy-two virgins?
That was lovely, Francis. As you probably know, more than 50% of those of us with ADHD will suffer from a Substance Abuse Disorder or Full-Blown Addiction during our lifetimes. Our brains are wired differently. It's not our fault; we didn't ask for this. I'm grateful that you're here with us, today, sober and a key member of The Resistance. Keep on keeping on, dear man.
Great that you are on here. I come from a family of addicts, going back generations. It is an ongoing daily commitment to be free of it for most of them. Thank you for sharing your story.
I think I once wrote about my own drunk toddler experience on locals for a writing competition. Not sure if you remember. Fortunately, I didn’t get alcohol poisoning just bad diarrhea for a couple of days. 6 months later when I was 3 my father got behind the wheel in one of those drunken stuper states you speak of and drove into a wall. He too couldn't stop drinking when he started. I grew up believing he chose drink over me. I was very angry at my father for dying and blamed him for the hurt I went through as a teenager. If he hadn't die it wouldn't have happened. He would have been there to protect me. I would cry myself to sleep asking the darkness, "Daddy why didn't you take me with you? Why did you leave me behind?"
Only once I had my own child I forgave my father and began to understand what he went through. I am facing similar problems in my marriage that my father had to face. I vow to be stronger. Alcohol can be a crutch for me but it hasn't become an addiction. I can stop. My weakness is my depression. It is a black hole,once I fall down it, it is almost impossible to get back out. I self-destruct. Destroying what is most dear to me because I believe I don't deserve it, no alcohol needed.
My heartbreaks for Liam's 7y/o boy. I still cry for my dad even now at age 43. The feeling of lose and the absence of my father never goes away. It is a weight you learn to carry with throughout life.
Francis you say Liam had places to hide that you didn't and that is what saved your life. However, you should give yourself more credit than that; forevyou saved yourself. You have a unique strength and resilience that I have seldom seem in others. The awkard man you were running from when holding a beer in your hand is the same strong man that saved you. You should love and appreciate that man, just like I have learnt to love and appreciate that , awkwardly crazy and ugly Claudia. She saved me 🤗
Francis James,
Have you ever thought of doing any public speaking in schools? I heard that you were a teacher and thought those might be good venues to share your life experiences, as well as the lessons you learned along the way. Hard work, self-reflection and the ability to take accountability for your actions in order to better yourself, are all keys to finding fulfilment.
I agree 💯! I find young adults are very indecisive and unsure of their lives. They are terrified to make choices because of the fear of making the wrong choice and having to live with the consequences, like marriage for instance. Fear of disappointment holds a lot of kids back and encourages them to stay in a "participation" trophy environment. It is also why I believe the younger gens are gravitating towards authoritarianism. They are looking for a certainty. "This is this and that is that and do not think or choose otherwise. We need to show children, yes making wrong choices will have consequences but that is the only way to make success happen in life. Take risks and endure it. When it goes wrong, pick yourself up and carry on. It is what makes you strong. "Strength is the sum of all that has been endured." Life is not perfect and no one is going to run around you to make life your perfect. Happiness is not what you get, it is appreciating what you got.
Great idea. Francis is very relatable (for an adult😂) and down to earth. His humor keeps him from being pedantic. It helps for kids to hear someone who can understand and verbalize how huge and terrifying everything seems in adolescence.
Francis isn’t woke enough to get a gig in a uk secondary school. He’s got no chance…see and agree your point but….no chance…
I think the world is slowly moving away from wokeness now. The pendulum is starting to swing back the other way.
First and great hermano... I wanted to make a joke of "you're good at this, you should wrote a book"
But you know you are, and you are.
Rollercoaster of an article, this is what I've always told you have in yourself - that dark part and yet have a sense of humour about it...
I still want to get you drunk in a padded cell or in a forest around a fire... But I know that call, and know it well, my hands won't be the ones pushing you, but I'll pick you up if I can.
You still have that spark Fran
Take care of yourself my friend
Thanks for leading us here. xo
Wow, Carajito! Very raw piece, but thanks for sharing this with so many who have struggled one way or another with the many types of addictions and road blocks live has thrown at us!
We didn't have drink or drugs in my family but we had cutting. Whether you call it an addiction or not I completely agree they are coping mechanisms, a way to still that roaring voice in your head. Stay strong out their people, it's always better to win that fight than to lose it.
Excellent article, thank you Francis.
It is all to easy to see the wealth, good looks and fame that this young man had and see it as him being hugely fortunate but, as you rightly point out, such things can in reality be a curse. There are many examples of famous artists over many decades (I'm 72) who I've seen be similarly afflicted.
I grieve for them with you.
Thank you for articulating the message so well.
I understand all to well.. A day at a time... Be well dear writer
Nah, he didn't die of alcohol addiction, he died of falling out of a window when he was drunk. Windows can be addictive too.
Great stuff Francis x
Wonderful start, FF. Very thoughtful post.
I had a couple dozen hits of LSD in me before I was fourteen and had a DUI at fifteen, before I was licensed to drive .16 BAC. Beat that. Like Bill Maher says, you don’t need drugs and alcohol to have fun, but why take the chance. I believe more in Mr. Natural “straight street that great street. Research ketogenic diet for food and alcohol addiction. Sex addiction? Maybe seventy-two virgins?
INTELLIGENT, INSIGHTFUL and SOBERING (pardon the pun ☺️).
Such a sad story telling of a tragic death BECAUSE of addiction. 😔
Thanks, Francis, for sharing your personal life-experience and the WISDOM you gained through your time of challenge and misery.
It’s a CAUTIONARY TALE worth heeding!
So glad you overcame your addiction to be able to share your humor and other gifts with our world❣️
Good debut.
I admire your honesty.
That was lovely, Francis. As you probably know, more than 50% of those of us with ADHD will suffer from a Substance Abuse Disorder or Full-Blown Addiction during our lifetimes. Our brains are wired differently. It's not our fault; we didn't ask for this. I'm grateful that you're here with us, today, sober and a key member of The Resistance. Keep on keeping on, dear man.
Drinking is like being with an old friend—but one that can’t be trusted.
Great that you are on here. I come from a family of addicts, going back generations. It is an ongoing daily commitment to be free of it for most of them. Thank you for sharing your story.